Everyone knows that the current job market is tough for job seekers but recruiters are also struggling to fill roles.
Often, I see questions from recruiters on forums & social media asking,
- “What are some creative ways for talent sourcing?”
- “How do I get more responses from my messages to potential candidates?”
My answer is to keep it simple and give people the job information they need upfront.
However, I’m not a recruiter and I don’t know the quotas or metrics recruiters and HR are looking to fulfill. And potential candidates you’re reaching out to, don’t know and don’t care.
Especially, the rockstar unicorn ninjas you’re looking to hire.
You already know that “top talent” are happily employed and are swimming in recruiter emails from big name companies with top notch salaries and benefits.
So, if you’re having trouble getting potential candidates to:
- Open your emails
- Respond to your emails
- Get on a call with you to learn more about the job
Then I have a copy example that will help with talent sourcing to get more qualified folks in your candidate pipeline.
But first, I’ll show you some examples of emails/messages I’ve received that…suck. Each example has been scrubbed of any identifying information.
Talent Sourcing Email Examples & Critiques
Email/Direct Message # 1
Subject
Cool marketing opportunity!
Message
Hi Mercedes. My company is looking for a marketer to join their team. Let me know if you are interested in jumping on a quick call. Thanks!
Alia Johnson
Recruiter
My thoughts on Email/Direct Message # 1
Normally, I love quick-to-the-point copy, but this tells me nothing.
What’s the name of the company? If it’s not in your email signature, email address or LinkedIn headline, how am I supposed to know? I’m supposed to spend time going to your profile or searching your name on Google? Nope.
What kind of marketer? Product? Growth? Performance? Partner? Digital? Social media? There are so many types of marketing jobs.
I imagine this is supposed to pique curiosity and encourage folks to respond with questions, but most people will ignore this email/direct message.
Email/Direct Message # 2
Subject
Dashboard is growing their marketing team
Message
Hi there,
I’m sure you get lots of these messages all the time, so sorry to bother you and I’ll make this quick. I’m reaching out because I was impressed with your background, and I think you’d be great for the Product Marketing role that we opened at Dashboard.
We recently raised $170M in a Series D round and we’re growing rapidly. We have a great culture and great growth. And 97% of our employees say they love their job!
Let me know if you want to hear more!
Alia Johnson
Recruiter
My thoughts on Email/Direct Message #2
This is a common email/message I get from recruiters and HR people. Even though it has more information than the first example, it still doesn’t tell me anything useful.
The two things that matter most in the first paragraph are the role and the company name. Everything else can go. Many startups have ambiguous names and are difficult to find on search engines. So, what’s missing is information about the company and/or a link to learn more about the company.
The company’s latest round of funding likely resonates with people who don’t understand venture capital. With the slew of tech layoffs and the uncertainty of our economy this year, informed job seekers care more about profitability than VC funding.
Now, let’s look at my example of how you can reach out to potential job candidates:
Email Template for Sourcing Talent
Email/Direct Message # 3
Subject
Sr. Product Marketing Manager at Dashboard
Message
Hi Mercedes,
We’re looking for a Senior Product Marketing Manager at Dashboard, a SaaS product that helps influencers grow and monetize their content. I’m reaching out because of your product marketing background for fintech & creator products.
More about this role:
- You’ll report to the Director of Product Marketing
- This is an established marketing team with 2 other PMMs, Content Marketers, Copywriters and more
- 100% remote in the U.S. and core hours are 1 – 3 pm Pacific Time
- Salary range: $135k – $170k USD
Full job description: [URL]
If you’re interested in this role, feel free to schedule time on my calendar: [SCHEDULING LINK].
If you know someone else who might be a fit, I’d love a referral.
Thank you,
Alia Johnson
Sr. Recruiter @ Dashboard
[company homepage URL]
My thoughts on Email/Direct Message #3
This example tells the potential candidate the most important information they need to decide whether or not to get on a call with you:
- The role & level (Junior, Senior, Lead, etc)
- 1-liner about the company and what the company does
- Why you think they could be a fit for this role/company
- A few details about the role (which should include the salary range)
- Link to the full job description
- Call to action: schedule a call with you using a link
If you’re constantly climbing from under the mountain of LinkedIn messages and emails from candidates asking questions and telling you their availability for an interview, then update your outbound communications using the tips from this guide.
Do you need help writing copy?
I work with SaaS companies & government services to write copy for emails (like the example in this article), landing pages, SMS messages, blog posts and more.
Let’s chat about your copywriting needs.